I can’t do this one more day – it hurts too much. It hurts to try to be OK when I’m drowning. It hurts to put on a brave face when all I want to do is hide. It hurts to keep trying and 99% of the time feel like an abysmal failure. The ache […]
My husband and I have marriage counseling on Wednesday nights. Things are not dire between us: we are not on the brink of divorce or fighting all the time, we are just trying to make our marriage more healthy. It is a lot of work. I can count on one hand the number of […]
The numbness is overtaking me and I feel so lost and alone. I am not in a strong place right now . . . I’m alive, I’m functioning (to a point) – I am thankful for this at least. But my stomach is turning with anxiety and my chest is tight with grief because I […]
I’m often self-conscious about how I reveal my struggles (may I say illness?) to other people – even those most close to me. It is so easy for me to be hurt by good intentions, by people trying to help. Usually they end up inadvertently invalidating the severity of my experiences. If they haven’t walked […]
I don’t remember much about July 12th. Perhaps it should be my “sobriety birthday” since it was the first day: day one of no more drinking. Ever. But many who have been on the alcoholic’s journey know that there are many first days of “no more drinking, ever”. “Today is the day,” then a few […]
Healing The Ache 